New Paradise Laboratories  


    • hommes
    • book

Why you should get to know me

I’m a little bit country, a little bit rock ’n’ roll. I don’t eat much, don’t take up too much space, am fairly easy on the eyes.

I’m nuts for Phil Neikro, roly polys, two-minute warnings, oolong, Josten’s, langoustines, schisms, noir, b-sides, gelato, mini marts, ambuscades, welcome mats, cold cuts, flotsam, plus-ones, French Roast, funnel cakes, Hail Mary passes, and exposition till the cows come home.

More about what i’m looking for:

  • noun / verb constructions
  • eye contact
  • invertible counterpoint
  • vintage dungarees
  • a waxing gibbous
  • an Achilles heel

We may agree if...

You find yourself waxing rhapsodic over leg warmers and Nair, instant rebates and shell games, rest stops and chiggers, Bonne Belle and Old Spice, analogies and anagrams, Shetland ponies and Nordic steppes, Shiraz and curly fries, plutonium 238 and infusium 23, and the geosexual underpinnings of Spanish Influenza and the tesseract.

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